I need a vacation

I’m not stressed right now or anything, but I really need some time off.  Actually, It might be time for me to retire.  You see, I have way too much media to consume.  I love reading.  I own over 500 books (probably close to 600).  I recently added a couple more books to my goodreads “to read” shelf and discovered I have 140 books I’d like to read.  That’s quite a few books. I’m currently switching between reading 6 different books. I own 38 of the 140 “to read” books, so they’re actually on my shelf just waiting for me to call them up from the bench.  I also probably have another 20 or so that are on my shelves, but are not on my ‘official’ to read list.  That also doesn’t count books on my tablet and all the magazines, comics, and graphic novels I still need to read.  And that’s just the start of media waiting for me.

I love movies, too.  I wanted to be a filmmaker when I was in college.  Due to this fact people often are shocked when I haven’t watched some seminal film.  “YOU’VE NEVER SEEN SCARFACE!”  I have not.  I have, on the other hand, seen all but two of Wong Kar-Wai’s films (One’s on my shelf waiting for me to watch it), and have probably seen more Hong Kong films than you have.  I’ve also seen most of the films that were remade in the U.S. in their original language. (Ringu, Infernal Affairs, REC)  And don’t get me started on Zombie Films!  If it says, “of the Dead” I’ve probably watched it (yes, I watched, liked, and own Flight of the Dead).

That said, the other reason I haven’t watched your favorite film is that I have 200 movies in my Netflix queue.  That’s not hyperbole, that’s a fact.  I just checked again.  Do you realize how many hours that is?  Let’s forget the fact that some of those are TV shows (like Parks and Rec, I swear I’ll watch you soon) and just use an average of 2 hours, which gives you 400hrs divided by a 24 hour day and you’re looking at 16 days of straight movies.  And Netflix doesn’t even have every movie I need to watch!

Then there’s my Hulu queue.  I estimate there is about another 100 hours of television I’d like to watch. And certain seasons of some shows I’ll have to get on DVD, because they don’t go back far enough on Hulu or are not on either Hulu or Netflix (I’m looking at you Big Bang Theory).

If I owned a television station, I could program it with everything I want to watch and we would have no repeats (or commercials) for, at least, one month straight going 24 hours a day.  Thanks to work (stupid need to pay rent) I only have 8 hours a day that I can even start trying to make a dent in that.  3 of those hours I spend reading.  I workout for an hour every other day.  And right now I’m wasting precious time writing.  And since I love politics and current affairs I watch, almost daily, The Daily Show, Colbert Report, and The Rachel Maddow Show.

See, I need to retire so I can enjoy all this.  This is what they call “First World Problems”.  It’s one reason I love America.  This is seriously the biggest problem in my life right now.  How great is that?

I’m lucky enough to have a good job and job security.  I have a great apartment and a good car.  I have great friends and family.  I don’t worry when I go to a bar or restaurant that I’ll be killed by some suicide bomber.  Even with this year’s spate of psychos going on shooting sprees, I’m still more likely to die in a car accident than die in a hail of gunfire.

Life is pretty good right now.  Sure, I’d prefer to not work and just sit and read all day, but I can’t complain too much.  I wish I could win the lottery, or at least be able to ignore the statistical improbability of winning so I could buy a ticket.  I’m always amazed by the people who say they don’t know what they’d do when they retire.  I know exactly what I’ll be doing.  I’m getting me a comfy chair and I’m reading and watching TV only taking breaks to eat and exercise.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have a couple episodes of Doctor Who that aren’t going to watch themselves.

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