Honesty: Best Policy?

I most likely lost a friend last night. The problem: honesty brought on by too much liquor. I was sober enough to know what I was saying, but not enough to shut up. I  believed and stand by all the statements I made, I just could have made them with more tact, or chosen a time when we were both sober to have a real discussion.

In management, you’re taught to not give feedback in an emotional state. That’s essentially what I did. But, is there ever a good time to tell a friend, “I think you need to get your life in order.”? It’s not like she’s living in the gutter, but we’re both approaching forty, and there comes a time when “you HAVE such potential” becomes “you HAD such potential.”  I think she could achieve so much.

Five years ago I decided to make myself good at my job. I bought a couple dozen books on business, management, marketing, merchandising. I subscribed to podcasts and started my day by reading blogs and the latest news on business. I used my Psychology studies at U.T. as background on how to ask questions, then figure out what data I need to get answers.  The result: 5 years of steadily increasing sales and my position in the company is the highest I can go. On top of that, I’m considering taking the plunge and starting my own business.

I don’t just say that to pat myself on the back, I say that because it illustrates what work was needed to get where I am. It’s something anyone can do. I’m not special, I just worked at it.

How do you make this point to a friend? I already have a problem seeming like (being) an arrogant ass. Perhaps honesty, for me at least, is not the best policy.


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